A Lesson From The Kid

What did you dream about when you were a kid?

Bruce Willis plays the adult Rusty (Russ) Duritz in the movie, “The Kid”. Giving credit to the Internet Movie Database (www.imdb.com) the main premise reads:

"Russ Duritz is a wealthy L.A. image consultant, but as he nears 40, he's cynical, dogless, chickless, estranged from his father, and he has no memories of his childhood. One night he surprises an intruder, who turns out to be a kid named Rusty, almost 8 years old."

That kid is Russ himself. I love his eight year old summary of his 40 year old self.

“So, I'm forty, I'm not married, I don't fly jets, and I don't have a dog? I grow up to be a loser.”

Are you the person you imagined you would be? Are you living the life you dreamed when you were a kid? Would the eight year old “you” say you grew up to be a loser?

What did you dream about back then? Did you have a poster of a minivan (black light poster, of course!) on your bedroom wall? Did they even make posters of cubicles and credit card debt? Did you surround yourself with such images? NO!

Most guys had the Ferrari - or your favorite Italian car ending in a vowel - along with sports heroes, a favorite band, and perhaps a dream girl or two.

The girls rooms? Perhaps posters of the latest teen heart throb, perhaps a hero. Maybe the room was filled with dolls, princesses, cheerleading trinkets and prom bouquets. Perhaps a musical instrument or a favorite sport.

Memories intertwined with dreams for the future. Not to belittle where life led us, but does it match the life we imagined? Is it a life we actively created, or what simply happened? What would you tell the eight year old you?

Looking back doesn’t change anything. Unless we learn something, and it changes our thinking. And if we leverage that new thinking to take different actions.

If you stay on your current course, where will you be in five years? Do you like those results? What does that mean ten years will look like? If you could shape that future self, create your dream life, what would you do?

If the “you” five years from now could speak into your life today, what would you say? What would you tell yourself to do, starting today? What would you beg yourself to stop doing, today?

Do you hear what you are saying?

A Life of Significance – The Rascal

One of the greatest lies you can buy into is that your life, your purpose, is insignificant.  Perhaps you have bought into the lie that you are not equipped for a life of significance, not strong enough, not worthy, or simply not worth anything all that dramatic. 

Nothing could be further from the truth.  There is no one that can replace you in your mission.  No one can fulfill your unique purpose.  If your place is left unattended, your mission will be left undone.  No one else can be who you were meant to be.

You need to allow yourself to become the unique individual you were created to be.  You need to stop worrying about what everyone else thinks.  You need to stop trying to be what everyone else wants you to be.  You need to find the courage and the freedom to be yourself.

Personal development – development to maximize your gifts and your talents, unlocks amazing potential and provides a wealth of opportunity. Oddly, many people instead spend their whole life trying to change how they were made.  They ignore their talents, their gifts and their strengths and actually try to change their natural makeup.  Instead, they should do everything in their power to build on them.

What a shame to deny your purpose and abandon your dreams from a lack of courage to pursue them. What a shame to allow your life to be wasted on a career, or series of occupations, that you accepted as a result of obligation.

You were created so that your life would count, not to count the days of your life. Average people compare themselves with others; extraordinary people always compare themselves with who they have been called to be.

Bottom line, if you have read this far, and this resonates with you, I believe you are called to be a Rascal.  What is a Rascal? Author Chris Brady shares it well, in his “Rascal Manifesto.”

Rascal Manifesto – Chris Brady

• I was born free and I intend to live like it. 
• This means that I will live my life while I'm alive.
• No one owns me except my Creator.
• No one can put me in a box, a category, a social group, a voting bloc, or a classification.
• I am fiercely independent, and with those aligned with me in common purpose, interdependent.
• I know that with my freedom comes responsibility.
• I take responsibility for my own actions, and I hold the bar high on myself.
• I am not afraid to struggle, because it's the struggle that makes me great.
• I know that excellence always lies on the other side of inconvenience.
• I am a learning machine.
• I read, I confront brutal reality, I grow.
• Long term, no one and nothing can defeat me, because I will keep coming back, stronger and better than before.
• I will educate myself about the true principles of freedom, and I will strive mightily to preserve freedom for the next generation.
• I rely on no man and no government to provide for me.
• I will not follow the herd of mediocrity and victim-thinking.
• I don't follow herds, instead I run with a pack - a pack of Rascals.
• Let others bask in their privileges, as for me, I will invest them in my purpose.
• I will defy tyranny.
• I will charge the hill.
• I will make a difference. 
• I'm a Rascal!

I believe I am called to be a Rascal.  As a Rascal, what follows below are my thoughts on the purpose I am called to live.  As I continue down this path, I’m sure this will be refined and an even deeper purpose will be revealed. I share this here as a reminder to myself, to guide my steps and empower my actions…

I believe that everyone is called upon to be a leader sometime during the course of their life, even if only for a season. I believe I am called to be a leader. I believe I am called to develop other leaders as well. I believe that one person can make a difference. I believe that I can, I do, and I will continue to make a difference.

I am thankful for my privileges, and I leverage them for my purpose rather than my pleasures. I choose to step out and lead, and I will serve those I am called to help. I will even polarize, if necessary, to serve my purpose rather than compromise myself to please those who may disagree with me.

I am concerned about the freedoms on which our country was founded, and the principles that serve as that foundation. I am concerned about personal finances, and the individual freedoms or constraints that they drive. I am concerned about healthy relationships, healthy marriages and healthy parenting. I am concerned about the information - the “thinking” - that we are using to guide our decisions.

I refuse to compromise my character in any circumstance or environment, no matter the cost.  I strive to be the same person both in private and in public, in thought and in action, devoted to personal discipline and self-mastery. I never stop learning and growing, always drawing from the best sources of information.  I guard my thoughts from unwholesome information and unhealthy environments.  I seek wise counsel and mentorship.

I am the leader of my family. My life will produce lasting impact through generations. I will impact lives globally and eternally. I am on a mission to change lives, one person and one family at a time if necessary. I am willing to partner with those who have a passion to do the same.

I am ultimately accountable to my Creator, and my life is dedicated to His purpose for me. I am responsible for discovering, and living, that purpose to the fullest.

If you are indeed a Rascal, you may share in some of these thoughts, but this will certainly not define you verbatim. This is my mission, and I am uniquely equipped to live it. I invite you to find out what makes you a Rascal, write it down (and share it if you dare), and set out to live it to the best of your ability. When you unlock the Rascal within, I believe you will be amazed.

Time to Make a Difference

How many days are in the typical person’s life? How many hours? How many minutes?

Think about it. What is the average lifespan, and how far along are you? Is it 70? More than that? Perhaps less? In reality, we’re not even guaranteed tomorrow.

Take away time for sleep. Take away time for work. How much time do you really have left?

The math is important, but perhaps it's based on the wrong timeline. Do you to have children? How many days do you have left with them until they turn 18 and go off to college? How many days until the life and direct interactions you have with them now no longer exist? If you’re busy all week in business, count the weekends where you have more face time with them.

Count the number of days that you have with them to make a difference. You have them - are you using them?

Consider the chances you have to make a mark, to give them the tools, to give them the ability to make choices for themselves. The tools that enable them to handle the freedom of life.

You see, the freedom that our children will enjoy is not the absence of our rules and the limitations from the choices we make for them. Freedom is when they will make those choices themselves.

Will your children be prepared? Have you provided the right influence, the right guidance, so that when they leave you they are equipped to handle life?

Have you consistently invested the time with them before they leave to earn the chance to help guide them after they are gone? You see, the influence forced by dependence when they are children will no longer exist. The influence and involvement thereafter is by invitation only - and you’re not the one sending it.

How are you going to invest the very next hour that you have in your life? How many do you have left?

A Conversation on Privileges

"Our privileges are not for our pleasure, but rather for our purpose."

A gentleman that I very much admire and respect often shares that very powerful quote.

What does it say to you? What does it mean to you, if anything?

I am first reminded that there is absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying our privileges. Absolutely nothing at all. But are they shared, or are they selfishly consumed? Are they used to enrich the lives of others, or are they used as a tool of self-promotion? Do they reach and improve lives at the extent of one’s circle of influence, perhaps even allow one to grow that circle and touch even more lives?

What do you consider your privileges? For many of us, we immediately think of money, of material riches - our “stuff” if you will. We are all blessed to a different degree. Some are certainly blessed with so much more than others. Many have worked countless hours, perhaps decades, for those riches. There is no doubt that they are hard earned and well deserved. The question remains, to the extent of your own privileges - why… for what purpose?

If we were to take a global perspective, even the poorest of us in this nation are living above the means and enjoying a standard of living far in excess of the rest of the world. I give thanks for such blessings every day, and I’m constantly reminded to consider the responsibilities that come with those blessings. If kept to myself, those privileges are certainly wasted.

I submit that our privileges reach far beyond material gains. What about the information we have in hand that could change lives. What about principles that we’ve learned, concepts that others have shared which have placed us on a better path in life? What about life lessons and experiences? How selfish to waste these only on ourselves.

What about those skills and talents unique to us? If we don’t use them to the fullest, for more than just our own gain, I wonder if we even deserve them.

What about positions of leadership - in our homes, in our community or in our government? If leveraged for personal glory and profit versus service and impact, better that the fall would come more quickly than the ascent.

Our privileges are not for our pleasure, but rather for our purpose. As you consider your life mission, your purpose, examine how your privileges have been provided to help you reach your fullest potential and greatest impact.

Meaningful Resolutions

Year after year, we make the same resolutions:

I'm going to lose weight.

I'm going to spend more time with my family.

I'm going to work out.

I'm going to quit smoking...

... fall in love, get organized, stop something, start something.

How about this - stop making the same old annual resolutions that don't ever amount to much?

How about one single resolution, "This year, I will transform my life."

In his book "Resolved, 13 Resolutions for LIFE," Orrin Woodward outlines 13 resolutions that can do just that - transform your life. Imagine if you would focus on just one of these every week for the next 13 weeks, and repeat that for three more 13-week cycles the remainder of the year. Where would you be this time next year?

If these resolutions sound like a meaningful challenge for you, and you are serious about pursuing them, let's talk!

Orrin Woodward’s Thirteen Resolutions from RESOLVED

1.) Purpose: I resolve to discover my God-given purpose.

I know that when my potential, passions and profits intersect, my purpose is revealed.

2.) Character: I resolve to choose character over reputation anytime they conflict.

I know that my character is who I am, and my reputation is only what others say that I am.

3.) Attitude: I resolve to have a positive attitude in all situations.

I know that my beliefs determine my attitudes, which lead to my results.

 

4.) Programming the Elephant: I resolve to align my conscious (ant) with my subconscious (elephant) mind towards my vision.

I know that ending the civil war between them is crucial for all achievement.

5.) Game Plan and Do: I resolve to develop and implement a game plan in each area of my life.

I know that planning and doing are essential parts of the success process.

 

6.) Keeping Score: I resolve to keep score in the game of life.

I know that the scoreboard forces me to check and confront the results, making the needed adjustments in order to win.

7.) Friendship: I resolve to develop the art and science of friendship.

I know that everyone needs a true friend to lighten the load when life gets heavy.

 

8.) Financial Management: I resolve to develop financial intelligence.

I know that my wealth is compounded when incomes are higher than expenses over time.

 

9.) Leadership Resolution: I resolve to develop the art and science of leadership.

I know that everything rises and falls based upon the leadership culture created within my community.

10.) Conflict Resolution: I resolve to develop the art of conflict resolution.

I know that relationship bombs and unresolved conflict destroy a community’s unity and growth.

 

11.) Systems Thinking: I resolve to develop systems thinking.

I know that by viewing life as interconnected patterns rather than isolated events, I improve my leverage.

 

12.) Adversity Quotient: I resolve to develop Adversity Quotient.

I know that AQ leads to perseverance in overcoming obstacles and setbacks.

13.) Legacy: I resolve to reverse the current of decline in my field of mastery.

I know that a true legacy leaves the world a better place than I found it.

The #1 Reason Leadership Development Fails

From Mike Myatt, Forbes.com Contributor

Over the years, I’ve observed just about every type of leadership development program on the planet. And the sad thing is, most of them don’t even come close to accomplishing what they were designed to do – build better leaders. In today’s column I’ll share the #1 reason leadership development programs fail, and give you 20 things to focus on to ensure yours doesn’t become another casualty.

According to the American Society of Training and Development, U.S. businesses spend more than $170 Billion dollars on leadership-based curriculum, with the majority of those dollars being spent on “Leadership Training.” Here’s the thing – when it comes to leadership, the training industry has been broken for years. You don’t train leaders you develop them – a subtle yet important distinction lost on many. Leadership training is alive and well, but it should have died long, long ago.

This may be heresy to some – but training is indeed the #1 reason leadership development fails. While training is often accepted as productive, it rarely is. The terms training and development have somehow become synonymous when they are clearly not. This is more than an argument based on semantics – it’s painfully real. I’ll likely take some heat over my allegations against the training industry’s negative impact on the development of leaders, and while this column works off some broad generalizations, in my experience having worked with literally thousands of leaders, they are largely true.

An Overview of The Problem

My problem with training is it presumes the need for indoctrination on systems, processes and techniques. Moreover, training assumes that said systems, processes and techniques are the right way to do things. When a trainer refers to something as “best practices” you can with great certitude rest assured that’s not the case. Training focuses on best practices, while development focuses on next practices. Training is often a rote, one directional, one dimensional, one size fits all, authoritarian process that imposes static, outdated information on people. The majority of training takes place within a monologue (lecture/presentation) rather than a dialog. Perhaps worst of all, training usually occurs within a vacuum driven by past experience, not by future needs.

The Solution

The solution to the leadership training problem is to scrap it in favor of development. Don’t train leaders, coach them, mentor them, disciple them, and develop them, but please don’t attempt to train them. Where training attempts to standardize by blending to a norm and acclimating to the status quo, development strives to call out the unique and differentiate by shattering the status quo. Training is something leaders dread and will try and avoid, whereas they will embrace and look forward to development. Development is nuanced, contextual, collaborative, fluid, and above all else, actionable.

The following 20 items point out some of the main differences between training and development:

1. Training blends to a norm – Development occurs beyond the norm.
2. Training focuses on technique/content/curriculum – Development focuses on people.
3. Training tests patience – Development tests courage.
4. Training focuses on the present – Development focuses on the future.
5. Training adheres to standards – Development focuses on maximizing potential.
6. Training is transactional – Development is transformational.
7. Training focuses on maintenance – Development focuses on growth.
8. Training focuses on the role – Development focuses on the person.
9. Training indoctrinates – Development educates.
10. Training maintains status quo – Development catalyzes innovation.
11. Training stifles culture – Development enriches culture.
12. Training encourages compliance – Development emphasizes performance.
13. Training focuses on efficiency – Development focuses on effectiveness.
14. Training focuses on problems  - Development focuses on solutions.
15. Training focuses on reporting lines – Development expands influence.
16. Training places people in a box – Development frees them from the box.
17. Training is mechanical – Development is intellectual.
18. Training focuses on the knowns – Development explores the unknowns.
19. Training places people in a comfort zone – Development moves people beyond their comfort zones.
20. Training is finite – Development is infinite.

If what you desire is a robotic, static thinker – train them. If you’re seeking innovative, critical thinkers – develop them. I have always said it is impossible to have an enterprise which is growing and evolving if leadership is not.Thoughts? Please leave your comment for a discussion.

Reach Beyond Yourself

One cannot develop others in an area he isn’t developing himself. To that end, I have always included a variety of publications and newsletters in my reading cycle that strengthen my understanding of the most significant matters currently driving the course of our nation.

Not the latest trends, and not the messages from mainstream media, but rather the core issues in play, the questions they raise, and the foundational principles being applied (or not) in their solutions. I also enjoy learning from the perspectives of other leaders concerned about the same.

I have always had a keen interest in the history of our nation, and enjoy learning about economic and financial principles. The more I study the two, the more I learn how finances drive freedoms, from our “personal economies” to our national financial systems. This past election, the economy was a core issue, yet our viewpoints on the economic issues showed amazing diversity.

Many viewed the issues from a very personal perspective. Others put aside a concern for personal gain in favor of national strength. Some had short term views, and others looked far into the future. Almost suddenly thereafter, the focus became a pending “cliff” only a couple of months away.

I encourage you to…

• better understand the issues at hand, learn all you can about them and view them through a lens of sound principles beyond the sound-bites being discussed
• understand what drives our economy, what drives our freedom as a nation and learn how they are interrelated
• gain a better understanding of free enterprise and entrepreneurialism, and how integral they are to where our country is headed

But also rise above it. Regardless of the short-term actions taken by the national leaders in the coming weeks, step back and see how little these decisions impact you. Or, perhaps, don’t let them.

In the article below, the Centurion Advisory group adds to their end-of-year outlook a great perspective on inward concern versus outward focus, and the importance of taking actions in both. Beyond the education it provides, and the guidance to take care of things “at home”, I hope this inspires you to also take the opportunity to reach beyond the noise, and reach beyond yourself, to make a difference in the lives of others.

FROM: Centurion Advisory Group Newsletter, 12/4/2012

Domestic equity markets have followed a very traditional pattern this year. They were up through April, accomplished almost nothing through the end of October, and were up a bit in a volatile November. This pattern generally yields a solid December, but I'm no fortune teller, so we will know for certain the evening of December 31st.

Most investors have made money this year, whether they've invested in stocks or bonds, and regardless of where in the world they have invested. Again, this confirms a very traditional pattern, described by some as the "Wall of Worry". When many are fearful of investing, or concerned that the market will take a plunge, the market can do well. An added complication is that for many of us, the fall of 2008 and spring of 2009 don't seem that far away, and none of us are excited about a repeat. This "Wall of Worry" isn't a perfect pattern, though the general correlation makes for a fascinating study in human behavior.

At the moment, there are plenty of macro issues to worry about, for those who choose to burn through energy worrying about things. Our fearless leaders in DC have gone almost four years without a budget, and they are still wrangling over tax details to avoid what has been called a "fiscal cliff". The U.S., and many other countries, is absolutely covered up with debt, and there is no politician living that is willing to stand in, and help resolve these long term issues. Some wonder what happens to the viability of the U.S. if the U.S. dollar is no longer the world's reserve currency. The Middle East continues to be a milieu of tribal warfare.

If it helps any, let me remind us that there have always been wars, and rumors of wars. Over the last 100 years, there have been two world wars, and almost too many other conflicts to reference. There have been currency implosions, destruction of people groups, tribes, and rainforests, terrorist attacks on the U.S and many other countries, tsunamis, hurricanes, tornadoes, and hosts of other natural disasters, and on, and on.

In spite of this, and sometimes because of it, "here in Topeka", the screen door needs to be fixed, diapers need to be changed, and meals need to be prepared. Life for most will go on, and these "most" will continue to pay their light bill (Warren Buffett figured this out a long time ago), buy groceries for the family, tennis shoes for the kids, and gas for the car. The well run companies that offer these products and services will continue to be profitable, hire new employees, and expand. As these companies see similar opportunities around the globe, they will expand into enterprises with a global footprint.

So, what does all this mean, and how do you take action at the moment? Let me suggest a dual focus, one inward looking, and one outward looking.

First, know that your personal economy isn't directly related to the overall economy. Most of you reading this have developed some level of skill or expertise that allows you enough income to pay your bills. Provided you have food, clothes, and shelter, the rest of your personal economy is a function of one thing - discipline. Our highest and best recommendation is to spend lightly, save diligently, invest wisely and with counsel, and stay far away from debt. These habits and disciplines, exercised consistently across decades, will yield magnificent results. There is no better place to be financially than debt free, profitable, and cash flow positive, and on this issue, I speak from experience.

Now, what about outward looking? About 45% of voters were pleased with the recent elections, and 45% were displeased, with 10%, and growing, fairly agnostic and cynical about the whole thing. And yet, political outcomes, regardless of where we each fall on the spectrum, are white noise compared to other, larger, issues.

For decades, our country has been the city on a hill, the golden land, which offered opportunity to all. From around the world, immigrants came, seeking a life which was better than the one they left behind. For more than two hundred years, we have stories of those from meager beginnings, from all countries around the globe, finding a better life for themselves and their families in the U.S.

A study of these stories reveals a commitment to work, to give, to share, and to help others. A few of the names are Andrew Carnegie, who built many of the libraries in this country, Nathan Hale, who was saddened that he had only one life to give, and Patrick Henry, whose oratory helped inspire a young nation to freedom.

Others include Abe Lincoln, who was seen as inept, yet governed during one of our country's most difficult moments, George Washington Carver, who applied his God given talents in spite of what many would call built in disadvantages, Teddy Roosevelt, who challenged us with his "man in the arena" speech, Ben Carson, raised by a single mother, yet one of our premier physicians, Shahid Khan, new owner of the Jacksonville Jaguars, who came here with little, and Churchill (I know he's a Brit), who through force of will saw a weak England to victory against the Nazi war machine.

Here's the question. What will we choose? Will we choose only to feather our own nest, to hide behind security gates and locked doors, to move only within circles of folks like us? Or, will we choose to reach out? Can we, by example, show the world, even if that world is simply our neighborhood, how to live? Will we intentionally look beyond the belief system, the orientation, the skin color, the accent, the appearance, to hear the story, to offer a word of encouragement, to find a way to help, to be a friend?

Will we bind up the brokenhearted, loose the chains of injustice, help set the captives free? Will we share our food with the hungry, offer shelter to the homeless, and clothes for the naked? Will we choose to restore those broken relationships of our own flesh and blood? Will we choose to offer words of kindness and encouragement, instead of criticism, complaint, and condemnation?

If we will, then we will live in a supernatural light, and will find healing instead of brokenness. We will be given physical strength, and our lives will be as a well-watered garden. We will be called a repairer of broken walls, and a restorer of streets with dwellings.